November 3, 2014

A Refreshing Conversation

The other day I treated myself to a pedicure. As I was relaxing in the chair, there was a mom with her daughter who was probably around 6 or 7 years old.  She was making her way over to the drying station when another woman walked in.  The mom knew that mom and they started striking up a convo as the other mom was picking out her nail color.  

As a new mom now, I couldn't help but listen to their conversation.  And it was refreshing listening to them talk.  Before I was a mom, I'd easily get annoyed by different mom conversations out there.  I know at the time I knew nothing and really shouldn't have judged them because, well, I wasn't a mom and hadn't at all experienced what they have.  In the past it would be conversations about lunches at school, what gifts to give the teachers for Christmas or how perfect little Timmy was on the honor roll. I truly hope those kinds of bumper stickers are obsolete now. Or at least becoming obsolete...

I would roll my eyes and make my way toward the clothing section in Target without a care in the world.  Now?  Now I can completely relate to ANYTHING I hear.  My daughter is 8 months old and I know I'm not making her lunch box or taking her to dance class yet, but the way these moms spoke, I can now relate.  It doesn't matter what the topic is.  I know I'll be at that stage one day soon with my daughter and I already feel prepared in some way.  It's crazy.

So as these moms were chatting away, they went off topic slightly from  kids stuff to cancelling plans with friends. One of them got invited to dinner but she had to cancel because the very next day she had a wedding to attend.  She said, confidently, " I had to cancel.  I'm so bad with back to back things."  I wanted to shout out right then and there, I TOTALLY HEAR YOU!

Then the other mom replied, confidently as well, " I know. Well, you can't do everything."  I wanted to hug her. This post wasn't written with the intent to knock people who aren't parents. But from personal experience after having a baby and dealing with friends and family on the regular, it comes down to one truth that I feel should be a law here in the U.S.:  We can't do everything.

Forget children for a second.  That sentence should pertain to every single person on this planet.  I feel it's common sense. We simply can't do everything. We simply can not attend every function { that includes family functions}. We seem to never stop and take a breather and realize that we do too much.  I'm all about being busy and working hard and challenging myself, as we all should be.  But at the end of the day, I do feel it's healthy and necessary to stop and rest, too.  And to realize that we all need a break.

Before starting a family, I used to think it would be so difficult to be so busy, even on the weekends.  I would think, how do parents get a break on the weekends? The truth is , we don't. And I know until their 18th birthday, parents are busy bees with their kids.  We should be forced to take a break, simply for our mental health.  We can't fit everything in on our weekends that appear to be extra cherished now.  We should also take that break for ourselves. A simple one party trip to Shop rite is perfection sometimes!

Obviously, if an event is planned months in advance, you show up, enjoy and shut up about it. But if nothing is planned?  Do whatever the hell you want!  Get chores done, go out for lunch, bake, cook, workout, frolic in the park with your family and pet dog, take a nap!  I say weekends are now cherished for the many reasons
I just mention. I know people who I love dearly that try to fit in all kinds of things in their weekend.  Now of course they can do what they want. It's their weekend and their life.  I'm not going to judge them or stop them from what they want to do.  But in my opinion, the mere fact that a MOM said, "you can't do everything"; really puts it into perspective.  It just sounds so refreshing.

It's OK to say NO.  It's okay to decline things. We can't do everything. 

Thoughts?  Parents or not, I think this topic is an interesting one and tends to get passed by way too often. We are too busy worrying what others think and trying to please people by fitting too much in.

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